Stay
by Danielle1473
Summary: When Erin goes out to grab some drinks with some old patrol buddies, will it be all fun and good times? Or does something happen that she wishes she could undo? I suck at summaries. Please read and tell me what you think! :)
1. Chapter 1

**_AN/ Hey everyone, thanks for reading! This is just a little story that popped into my head while listening to music, I thought we haven't had that much Linstead drama lately so I wanted to spice it up. Thanks to Danielle and Alyssa for giving me some ideas!_**

 **Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! (besides my thoughts)**

 _Do you ever get that feeling in your gut saying not to do something? Do you ever ignore that feeling? Do you regret that feeling? Does this feeling swallow you whole? Make you feel the worst guilt in your life? Does it make you wish you had never done something? Met someone? Fallen in lust? Fallen in love? Broken that one heart you swore you would never break? Destroy you? Consume you? Kill you on the inside? If you answered yes to any of these, you might just be Erin Lindsay.  
_

It was the first week of spring in Chicago. It wasn't anywhere near warm but, it was defiantly a step up from the snow they had just two days prior.

Everyone was gathered in the bullpen at their respected desks. All except two very important detectives. Erin and Jay.

"Where the hell is Erin and her boy-toy?" Hank came out of his office not too pleased.

He received a bunch of shrugs in return.

"Well aren't you all helpful?"

Just as Hank finished his sentence one of the two detectives came running up the stairs saying his apologies. That one detective was Jay Halstead. Erin Lindsay was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is Erin?" the unit asked in unison.

"I don't know. She said she was going out with some old friends from her patrol days, but never came back to my place last night so i'm guessing she is sleeping it off at her place." Jay answered.

They had no cases so everyone was catching up on paperwork but all Jay could think about was where Erin was.

It was 9:00 am, an hour past the time they were all supposed to report for duty. Erin was still nowhere to be seen.

The clock hit 9:10 before Jay finally stood up and walked to the lockers. He dialed in Erin's number and called her. After about the 3rd ring Erin finally picked up. "Hey, listen i'm on my way in. I just had a little too much to drink last night and over slept. I'm fine."

"Well that sure is nice to know, considering you didn't come back to my place last night, and didn't even bother to call or text me!" Jay said, clearly upset.

"I know i'm sorry, I will explain when I get there. I promise." Erin replied.

"Just get here okay? Voight is up my ass about where you are."

"Well then, tell him i'm on my way." Erin said as she hung up the phone.

Erin took a deep breath and sighed. She knew something was off. She just couldn't put her finger on it. She had woken up completely naked and hungover. Yet, she woke up in her own bed with no one besides her in it. She couldn't remember a single thing from last night. Hopefully it wasn't too bad. 

About 15 minutes later Erin comes strolling up the IU stairs. Everyone sending glares. "Where have you been? Did you find another boy-toy on the side?" Ruzek joked.

"Haha, very funny Ruzek. No, I just forgot to set my alarm last night and slept too late."Erin stated.

"Well you look like you got hit by a truck." As soon as Ruzek said that, Jay looked at Ruzek knowing he shouldn't have said that, he knew something was about to go down.

"Okay, one, what business do you have asking me what I did last night? Two, how dare you say I look like I got hit by a truck? Way to be classy. And three, just leave me the heck alone!" Erin finished as she stormed to the locker room.

"Okay then, whats her problem?" Ruzek questioned.

"Maybe it's the fact that you just said my girlfriend and partner looks horrible! Don't you know when to stop? Jeez!" Jay yelled storming out of the bullpen in search for Erin, leaving Ruzek shocked. 

Erin was sitting down on the locker room bench trying to gather herself. She knew it wasn't right to yell at Adam like that. She was just hungover and tired. She hadn't even had her coffee yet. All the while, she still didn't remember what happened last night.

Jay was about to walk into the locker room when he heard Erin yell to herself, "What the hell happened last night!?"

Jay took in her words thoughtfully. What did she mean she didn't know what happened? Questions started racing through is head, _Did she get full on wasted? Why hadn't she called or even texted him? Did she drink and drive? What did she do? Was she telling the truth about where she was last night?_ The last two questions he tried to push out of his head. He couldn't. He didn't want to know. Maybe he did though. _Did Erin take something?_ _Did she sleep with another man?_

Jay shook his head and stepped into the room. He saw Erin sitting on a bench with her head in her hands. She looked distraught.

Erin heard footsteps and loom up to see Jay's worried eyes. She felt bad. She had told him that they would talk about what happened, but she didn't even know what happened. Jay sat down on the bench in front of her. He put a finger to her chin and lifted it up so she could see her eyes. They were teary and tired.

"Erin, are you okay? If you say 'i'm fine' I will know you aren't. So you might as well tell me." Jay asked carefully.

"I just don't feel good. That's all." Erin replied quietly.

"Did you and your patrol buddies play some drinking game or something?" Jay asked trying to lighten the mood.

"Something like that." Erin answered.

Truth be told Erin was felling worse than she let out. It wasn't just that she hasn't had her coffee or the after effects of the alcohol. It was the guilt and the shame she felt in her heart. The memories from last night were coming back. She let a tear fall down her cheek and looked back up at Jay. He looked at her with helping eyes.

"Jay, I have something to tell you." Erin said holding back tears.

"Okay?" Jay answered. Panic setting in.

"I slept with another man last night." Erin said, finally letting the tears fall.

 ** _AN/ And there it is. Should I continue or not? I have some good thoughts so don't worry. It's not all sad af Linstead. :)_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_AN/ Here we go, chapter two! Please review and tell me what you think!_**

 ** _DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING (but my own thoughts)  
_**

"Erin, what do you mean?" Jay said in a hurt tone.

Erin couldn't speak, she couldn't even look at him.

"Dammit Erin, what the hell happened last night?!" Jay yelled.

"I got too drunk okay? I messed up. I shouldn't have even went out last night in the first place." Erin explained.

"No, it's not okay! And no you shouldn't have." Jay said standing up and walking to the locker room door.

"Jay, please wait it didn't mean anything! I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" Erin pleaded.

"Yet it did." Jay said sternly.

"Please Jay, I can't lose you too!" Erin yelled through hard sobs.

"Yet. You are." Jay said turning and walking out the door leaving Erin crying on the looker room bench.

Jay ran up the stairs back into the bullpen. He still couldn't believe what was happening. His life was unraveling. The one person he thought he was going to ask to marry him one day had betrayed him. And for what? A drunk guy at a bar. She promised him that nothing would happen! He was devastated, angry, confused, and most of all heartbroken. He couldn't be here anymore. He had to leave.

Hank was leaning up against he door frame making small talk with the rest of the unit to hear what had happened just 15 minutes earlier, when Jay rushed into the room grabbed his keys and jacket from his desk and chair and started jogging down the stairs.

Hank called out after him, "Where the hell do you think your'e going?"

"Anywhere away from here. And from her!" Jay yelled back while quickly entering the code to open the IU door. Then he was gone.

The whole unit sat at their desks shocked at what had just unfolded in front of them.

Hank immediately took off towards the locker room. He didn't know what she did this time but he knew it wasn't going to end well.

Hank walked down and heard quiet sobs coming from inside the room. He walked in and the sight shattered his heart. Erin held her hands over her head and was sank down by the lockers, sobbing.

Hank walked carefully over to Erin knowing all too well how this usually played out. He sat next to her and took her into his arms, trying to quiet her sobs to where she could explain what the hell just happened.

"Hey kid, what happened?" Hank asked.

"Remember when you said that I left a trail of broken hearts behind me ever since I was fifteen, and how if I wanted to date a cop that there were plenty of other districts? And how you told me you needed Halstead 100% effective and not throwing pebbles at my window at 3 in the morning?" Erin questioned through sobs.

"Yes." Hank said seeing where this was going."

"Hank, you were right." Erin said in a calmer voice.

"Kid, what happened?" Hank repeated.

"I broke Jays heart." Erin said very coldly.

"How?" Hank asked his former question, still not answered.

"I went out to grab a few drinks with some of my old patrol friends, Emily, Katie, Casey, Will, Jake, and Ryan. It was about 10:30 and we had all had way too much to drink. Will was drunk off of his ass and so was I. He pulled me into the bathroom and we started making out. I know I should have stopped it but I wasn't really aware of what was happening, so I went with it. Things got heated and I called a cab. We went up to my apartment ans the rest is history. When I woke up this morning I was completely naked and alone in bed. I had no idea what happened. The memories came back to me about 30 minutes ago. Hank, I didn't mean for this to happen. I got too drunk. I promised Jay nothing would happen and he trusted me, and then I abused that trust. Hank, I can't lose him. I love him, more than anyone else. I can't lose him."

"When I was dating Camille I went out with some poker buddies. I got wasted. We thought it would be a good idea to go to a strip club. Like you, I didn't really know what I was doing so I went with it. I got back home at around 3. I told her. She was pissed. We didn't talk at all that night. The next morning I told her I loved her. I also told her that yes I had gotten a lap dance, and yes I kissed someone. But that women, man she had the biggest heart. She forgave me. She saw the guilt in my eyes. I promised her it would never happen again."

"But you didn't sleep with someone. And Camille isn't Jay." Erin answered back.

"I know kid, but what i'm saying is that if Jay really loves you, he will forgive you. He fought harder than me to get you back after Nadia died, so if it meant a thing to him, trust me everything will be okay. He will forgive you." Hank said trying to explain.

"But Hank, you didn't see the look in eyes. He hates me." Erin was about to cry again.

"Trust me I saw him. He stormed out of the station. But that wasn't hate. That was confusion. Just explain in full detail. Have you told him?" Hank ended.

"Told him what?" Erin asked.

"That you love him, kid!" Hank replied.

"No neither of us have. We never really talked about it, or where our relationship was going. It was just what it was." Erin confessed.

"I think you need to go talk to him. Tell him. I may not have ever said it, but Jay is good for you. He is a nice kid. He loves you Erin. Trust me" Hank said.

"But what if he doesn't want to talk to me?" Erin questioned while standing up.

"Trust me he will. If he won't, tell him it's his funeral." Hank ended with a smirk.

"Okay." Erin shortly replied as she walked out the door to try and fix her mistake. Her only question was, _what happens if he doesn't love me anymore?_

 ** _AN/ Please review! Also don't kill me for what's about to happen. :/ :')_**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN/ Sorry for the wait but, I have been swamped with softball and testing and personal issues. I will try to have the next chapters up sooner because most of my testing is over and the first half of softball season is over so it will slow down a bit. Again, i'm sorry, and I hope you all continue to read and review this story! It helps a lot! -Danielle :)**

 **Disclaimer: Still own nothing.**

 **Italics are flashbacks.**

 **This chapter is a very strong T. Mainly for sexual abuse and heavy scenes.**

 **.**

Jay was driving back to his place just a short 20 minutes after Erin had told him she slept with another man. He was still in disbelief about it all. Erin, the one good, true, happy, person he had in his life. She had ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it. He was hurting. And truth be told, he hoped she felt like shit too.

He got back to his apartment and unlocked the door. He set his keys on the counter and hung his coat up on the rack. He went to his liquor cabinet and pulled out the strongest whiskey he could find. He didn't care that he was still technically on duty or that he had just stormed out of the bullpen in front of everyone. He was a man on a mission. He was going to get himself so wasted that maybe, just maybe, he could forget all about today and what happened.

He got a shot glass out of the cabinet and poured some whiskey in it. He didn't want to bother getting up to go get the bottle every time he needed a refill so, he brought the bottle with him and sat on the couch ready to drink the pain away.

.

Erin was in her car on her way to Jays house when she pulled out her phone and dialed his number. It rang about 5 times before it went to voicemail. She just needed to hear his voice, "Hey this is Jay, leave a message and i'll try and get back to you later." After that, she hung up very quickly.

Her thoughts were running wild, _What was she going to say when she got there? Would he even let her in? Would she be able to talk? How was she going to explain to him that she got so drunk she slept with someone?_

She thought back to the last question. How _did_ she get so drunk that she slept with someone? She knows she can get a little out of hand at some points in time. But to dink so much that she couldn't remember what had happened last night until about 30 minutes ago? That just didn't seem likely. At all. She thought back to that night and thought back to what happened before her and Will started making out.

 _They were all laughing around the bar nursing their beers talking about life after the academy. They were talking about what district they had ended up at, and their love lives. The majority had normal, boring boyfriends/girlfriends but some like Erin, Emily,and Will were dating people in the law enforcement. Erin had just started her second beer when she headed to the bathroom. She checked her phone and saw a new message it was from Jay._

 _Jay: Hey don't get to wild tonight, come by when you get done :). Jay texted._

 _Erin: Don't worry I wont. And save me a seat, i'll be there before midnight. :* Erin replied._

 _She headed back out and sat back down joining in on the conversation again._

 _It was around 11:30 when she got done with her second beer. Only this time she didn't feel too great. She knew it didn't take only two beers to get her drunk. Let alone vision blurry drunk. She excused herself and headed back into the bathroom but didn't realize that Will had slipped away from the crowed and followed her._

 _She got into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face when Will came into the room. He locked the door and as he did Erin looked up at him with questioning eyes. By now she was almost blind. Her vision was getting worse and worse. Will inched closer to her and then pinned her up against the wall._

 _She could feel his breath on her neck and his teeth grazing against her earlobe. She was pinned, she couldn't get away. She was helpless, stuck, afraid. She wanted to scream but she couldn't find the strength._

 _He was kissing up and down her neck and jawline when he took a breath and said, "You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this to you. Ever since the academy I had my sights set on you. All my other girlfriends have been 3 week hook ups. All I ever wanted was you. And now I have you. You can't do anything, you are helpless. You are all mine."  
_

 _Erin was about to cry. She was having flashbacks to when she was a teenager. When she was raped by Charlie. Her mind went to Nadia. What she felt. She was helpless and she couldn't do shit about it._

 _Will released her mouth but quickly covered it with his own. Erin's mind was racing. She didn't kiss back at first but then he took he by her hair and yelled "You will do as I say or you will be 6 feet under you hear? I may be a cop but honey, that's just my cover up."_

 _She obliged and did as told. He undid his and her jeans and lifted her up. He removed his boxers and her lace underwear and slipped his hard member into her wet core._

 _She screamed in pain as he entered her but was quickly quieted by his lips on hers._

 _He continued to thrust until he hit his climax and removed himself from inside her._

 _"Put your clothes back on and follow me out the back. We are going to get in my car and go back to your house for round two. You scream and I will make sure you never wake up again." He threatened._

 _Erin nodded quickly and put her clothes on and followed him out the door._

 _When they got back to her placed, she started to walk towards the bedroom when she felt something hit the back of her head._

 _It all went black._

Erin slammed on her breaks as the memories form last night came back to her.

Erin didn't have sex while drunk. She was drugged.

She was raped.

She turned the lights on and sped towards his house. She had to tell him. She had to make him understand that it wasn't her fault.

But was Jay Halstead going to believe her?

 **AN/ And there it is. I saw in the reviews that some of you wanted to take this path in the story and so did I. I hope you liked this chapter and continue to review and read! Don't worry, it will get better. Eventually. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN/ Hey everyone, I think until softball season and school raps up, I will be posting every weekend, unless I get a free day or something. After that I will try and post twice if not, three times a week. Also after this story wraps up (I want to keep it to a 10 chapter limit for this one) I will be attempting to write a Jophia fanfic! There aren't enough (like 2 maybe lol). It will probably be about the day that changed our lives forever. AKA, New York. September 27th. Best day. (Besides December 19th.) Okay enough rambling. Please read and review!**

 **Disclaimer** **: I own nothing but my thoughts.**

Erin's lights were flashing and her sirens blaring. She didn't exactly know what she was going to say when he opened the door. If he opened the door that was. She just had to tell him. She can't lose him. He is her other half. She is whole with him. Jay Halstead the man she loves. She needs him. Especially now.

.

Jay was passed out on the couch. He had knocked back at least 8 shots. He was sleeping kind of soundly (if you count being passed out drunk sleeping soundly). He shot up when he heard 3 loud, very, very, loud knocks on his door. "Fuck!" Jay exclaimed in pain. He stood up slowly and walked over to the door. He didn't bother looking through the peephole. He grabbed the doorknob and turned it opening the door to the one person he was hoping was not outside the door the most. Erin Lindsay. He quickly shut it before she could even open her mouth to speak.

"Jay, I need to talk to you! Please! Jay, I need your help." Erin pleaded.

That sent Jay over the edge ' _I need your help'_.

Jay quickly turned back, opened the door and started yelling, "You need help? Really, because I thought I was the one who's girlfriend stabbed him in the back! Slept with someone else! Got so dru-" He was cut short by Erin screaming back at him, "I wasn't drunk Jay! And I didn't sleep with him on my own will! I was rapped Jay! Is that better than your girlfriend sleeping with another man? Getting so drunk? Is that what you want to hear? Jay, I couldn't remember what happened till about 30 minutes ago! I told you the night was foggy, and that I didn't remember everything that happened when I told you what I _thought_ happened in the locker room!" Erin yelled sobbing.

Jay stood there with his mouth open. He couldn't say anything. "See, any man, who at one point in time, loved someone, would have said of course that's not better. Unlike you who has his mouth open but can't say a single thing like a dipshit. Man, I thought you were the perfect gentleman. Now it's clear, you're just another stuck up douche bag who doesn't give a shit about anyone else's feelings but your own. Thanks for clearing that up Jay. Really you're make it so much easier to walk away." Erin said.

She knew most of the things she said weren't true at all. She was confused, hurt, scared, sad, angry, and most of all she felt like shit.

Just as she turned out of the doorway to walk away, Jay murmured in a shocked, and very quiet tone "You were rapped?"

"Yes Jay, I thought I made that pretty clear." Erin said, with tears in her eyes.

Jay very cautiously walked over to Erin. Looked into her teary eyes, and hugged her as tight as he could.

That was enough to send her over the edge. She broke down in his arms and started sobbing. Jay hold on to her as tight as he could so she wouldn't fall to her knees then, and there.

He led them back into his apartment and onto the couch, where he lifted Erin up and onto his lap as she leaned forward into his chest and continued to cry.

They stayed like that for about an hour until she stopped crying.

He never would have thought she was rapped. He felt so guilty for yelling at her, but he didn't know. She didn't tell him because she didn't know at first either. He was supposed to protect Erin no matter what, and here she sat on his lap shaking from crying so much because she was rapped. Although there was nothing he could have done to stop it, he still felt guilty.

He looked down at her and whispered her name, "Erin?"

When she didn't look up, he took one of his fingers and pulled her chin up to his face.

Her eyes were completely bloodshot from crying so much.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I can't imagine what you went through. But I promise I will never let that happen every again. 'One day' is today, and today is everyday. I will never let you go ever again. I promise we will find the bastard who did this to you. He will never see the light of day again. I will take care of you, forever and always." Jay finished.

"I love you so much and i'm sorry I yelled at you." Erin said starting to cry again.

"Shh, you don't need to apologize. I love you too and I will try to help you as much as I can with this. I promise." Jay explained.

Jay took Erin's face in his hand and wiped away the falling tears, and kissed her softly.

"We'll get through this. I promise one step at a time. Together." Jay promised.

"Can I stay the night? I don't want to be alone." Erin asked.

"I wasn't planning on letting you leave." Jay said with a sad smile.

Jay lifted her up and carefully carried her to the bedroom. He sat her down and started to undress her. She was completely undressed when he got up and got her one of his sweatshirts to wear for the night. He undressed himself and climbed in bed with her, pulled her as close as she could get to him and held her tight. Falling asleep with her in his arms.

This was going to be a long road, but they were going to get through this together. Because after all 'That's why you have backup.'


End file.
